Coping with the Loss of Photos, Heirlooms, and Personal History After Disasters
When disasters strike, they don’t just take away homes and possessions—they also strip away pieces of personal history. The loss of family photographs, cherished heirlooms, and sentimental mementos can be especially painful, as these items tell the stories of our lives.
Martha Tecca, who lost her home in Lyme, New Hampshire, to a fire a decade ago, recalls one of her deepest losses: a portrait of her father painted by her grandmother. "It still hits me now," she says. Like many survivors, she struggled with the loss of generational keepsakes and the irreplaceable memories they held.
Navigating the Emotional Impact
While those who lose personal belongings recognize that others may have suffered even greater devastation, the grief of losing irreplaceable artifacts remains significant.
"Grief is a natural response to loss, whatever that loss may be," says Mary-Frances O’Connor, a psychology professor at the University of Arizona. "Objects serve as cues for our memories, our habits, our culture, and our social connections."
Survivors often find themselves focused on immediate recovery—finding shelter, dealing with insurance, and rebuilding their lives—before they fully process the emotional toll of losing personal history. Some, like Barbara Lambert of Larchmont, New York, who lost her home to flooding from Hurricane Ida in 2021, choose not to dwell on every missing item. "I gave myself permission to stop searching," she says, acknowledging the need to focus on what was necessary to move forward.
Finding Strength in Community
After losing her home in Peacham, Vermont, during the floods caused by Hurricane Beryl in 2024, Jenny Mackenzie initially considered walking away from the wreckage. The loss of a handmade canoe she received as a graduation gift was particularly devastating. However, with the support of neighbors, she found hope.
"Over 60 people showed up to help salvage our belongings," she recalls. "One even saved pieces of my garden, which I’ve now replanted."
Disasters often impact entire communities, fostering a sense of collective grief and support. Acts of kindness—such as friends sending old photos to Tecca to help replace what was lost—can help survivors regain a sense of connection to their past.
Preserving Memories Beyond Physical Items
While losing cherished items is painful, it’s the stories they represent that hold the deepest meaning.
"The objects themselves are just vessels for our memories," says Matt Paxton, author of Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff. He encourages survivors to record and share their stories, whether through writing, digital archiving, or storytelling. Apps like Artifcts allow users to document memories linked to lost possessions, while scanning and digitizing photos and artwork can help preserve them for future generations.
Psychologist Jennifer Talarico of Lafayette College notes that while visual objects trigger memories, other senses—like the feel of a familiar item or the sound of a loved one’s voice—can also help preserve those connections.
Moving Forward with New Meaning
For many survivors, rebuilding becomes an opportunity to create new stories and connections. Lambert describes the experience as oddly freeing. "Not having all that stuff—it lifted a weight off me," she says.
Tecca echoes the sentiment, emphasizing the emotional value of new possessions given by friends and loved ones. "Every piece in our house now is something given to us or intentionally chosen," she says. "The things we have now are just as precious as the ones we lost."
Though disasters mark a stark "before and after," they also pave the way for renewal. The loss of physical reminders may be painful, but the memories they represent continue to live on.